Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality

A timely and captivating memoir about gender identity set against the backdrop of the transgender equality movement, by a leading activist and the National Press Secretary for the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest LGBTQ civil rights organization.Sarah McBride is on a mission to fight for transgender rights around the world. But before she was a prominent activist...

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Title:Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality
Author:Sarah McBride
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Edition Language:English

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality Reviews

  • Kendall

    "Amazing Grace."

    That line, repeated over and over again in the midst of the darkest days of her life, says so much about Sarah-- that in the midst of any hardship, she can look for, and see, the hope in the broken and beautiful world we live in.

    I read this book in one sitting (while sobbing on a train next to concerned and loving strangers). It is such a gorgeous, honest, and brilliant lesson for all of us. It's a lesson about what we give to and take from each other. It's a lesson about ordinar

    "Amazing Grace."

    That line, repeated over and over again in the midst of the darkest days of her life, says so much about Sarah-- that in the midst of any hardship, she can look for, and see, the hope in the broken and beautiful world we live in.

    I read this book in one sitting (while sobbing on a train next to concerned and loving strangers). It is such a gorgeous, honest, and brilliant lesson for all of us. It's a lesson about what we give to and take from each other. It's a lesson about ordinary and extraordinary courage. It's a lesson about fighting, raging, and loving without regret, about protecting the people we love, and about choosing grace over fear, even in our darkest hours.

    I am beyond blessed to know first-hand how much it means when Sarah tells us that she will never stop "fight[ing] like hell to make sure that every single one of us is treated with the dignity, respect, and fairness we all deserve."

    I cannot recommend this gorgeous book highly enough.

  • Marla

    The first time I was introduced to Sarah McBride was when she spoke at the DNC. I already knew about transgender people as my daughter had a friend in high school who was transgender and she would come stay at our house and our daughter would go to her house for overnight stays. I never had an issue with the sleepovers. My husband only asked once if we should be worried and allow it. Once I explained why someone is transgender then he understood. In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah does a great

    The first time I was introduced to Sarah McBride was when she spoke at the DNC. I already knew about transgender people as my daughter had a friend in high school who was transgender and she would come stay at our house and our daughter would go to her house for overnight stays. I never had an issue with the sleepovers. My husband only asked once if we should be worried and allow it. Once I explained why someone is transgender then he understood. In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah does a great job explaining what she went through all her life knowing she was a girl in a boy’s body. She also does a great job explaining the struggles that transgender people go through just to have basic rights. She talks about how many people have been fought to change state and federal laws and how the fight is still happening as the current White House tries to take away what they fought so hard for.

    Where I work, our organization has fought the Missouri Government against SJR39 which was a bathroom bill. We won but again there is another bill on the docket. Our office is taking up the fight again. Before I had met my daughter’s friend, I didn’t know what transgender meant. I thought it was the same as transvestite. Which even though different, neither one is a danger to society. It saddens me to see how transgender people are treated and misunderstood.

    The way I explain transgender to people quickly is a soul was put in a body by mistake. I know Sarah has opened my eyes further in the transgender world and I think if people aren’t sure what it’s like for someone to struggle to live their authentic self, they need to read Sarah’s book. My heart breaks for transgender people and how they are being treated out in the world. They just want to live their lives to the fullest and feel safe.

    I’m so glad I read Tomorrow Will Be Different.

  • Nancy

    "I'm twenty-four, transgender, and a widow...that's a lot for someone in this society to handle." Sarah McBride

    In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah McBride shares her personal story as inspiration and to put a face on what it is to be transgender.

    Imagine being unable to go into a public restroom in North Carolina without breaking the law. Imagine being unable to change your sex on your state ID, or being unable to keep a job or find housing. Imagine being vilified, ostracized, beaten up, an obje

    "I'm twenty-four, transgender, and a widow...that's a lot for someone in this society to handle." Sarah McBride

    In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah McBride shares her personal story as inspiration and to put a face on what it is to be transgender.

    Imagine being unable to go into a public restroom in North Carolina without breaking the law. Imagine being unable to change your sex on your state ID, or being unable to keep a job or find housing. Imagine being vilified, ostracized, beaten up, an object of fear.

    Nearly fifty years ago my husband 's father's best friend disowned his son when he became a woman. Over the years I heard snippets of the story, how as a child their son loved to play dolls and dress up with his older sisters, how blame was assigned for causing their son's 'problem', the resulting divorce and alienation.

    In the 1990s my husband was approached by a teen from his church, an unhappy and angry child. Some thought she was presenting 'butch' because she was not conventionally pretty, assuming she was a 'pretend lesbian'. My husband affirmed her, but the support she needed from the community was not there. She changed her name and moved away. Today I know he was transgender, and I see on his Facebook page a happy, confident, burly guy with a successful career and a sparkle in his eye. I am so happy for him.

    I wanted to read Tomorrow Will Be Different by Sarah McBride because I had seen her on television and knew she was an intelligent and lovely person. And I wanted to better understand her experience and the work toward equality for all persons.

    The book's preface by Joe Biden is a must read. I recently read his Promise Me, Dad and I heard the same compassion and love in this preface.

    McBride was fascinated by American politics since childhood. Meeting Joe Biden was an unforgettable moment. She interned on Beau Biden's first race. McBride was fifteen when she introduced Jack Markell at the launch for his 2006 race for reelection as state treasurer, and at age eighteen when he ran for governor.

    During these years, McBride outwardly conformed to the gender role socially acceptable, presenting masculine and even dating. She did not want to let anyone down. But she was miserable.

    McBride ran for student president at college to great success and was very popular and led a push to end gender exclusive housing. In her junior year, with great trepidation, McBride announced being transsexual.

    She describes the scene when she came out to her family, her mother in tears. McBride had a gay brother, and her other brother tried to break the ice by announcing, "I'm heterosexual." In a heartwarming scene, McBride tells her fraternity brothers, who enveloped her in an embrace. Beau Biden called her to offer his love and support, as did Joe Biden. The Biden family confirmed her belief that there are still good people in politics.

    McBride repeats how lucky and privileged she has been, knowing that most trans persons lack a support system and her advantages. Throughout the book, she shares the devastating statistics behind the transgender experience: high rates of suicide; verbal harassment and physical assault in public restrooms; legal exemptions that allow discrimination; inability to find housing or keep a job.

    McBride met the love of her life, Andy, who was a few years older and also trans. Tragedy struck when Andy was diagnosed with cancer and underwent surgery and treatment with McBride providing care and support.

    I can't imagine the burden of being twenty-three and watching your beloved struggle with a terminal illness. Both my parents died of cancer, and I was at my Dad's side in the hospital for over two months. My heart broke as I read McBride's story.

    Trans rights advanced under President Obama, then 2016 saw the election of President Trump and Vice President Pence. The gains for equality under the law are being threatened. But McBride has found hope in the young people of our country, those who have been accepted as children for who they are, and who assume that the doors are open to them.

    I pray it is so.

    I received a free ebook from First to Read in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

  • Leigh  Kramer

    Tomorrow Will Be Different may be the most important book I'll have read this year. This is the one I'll be pushing—er, gently encouraging—people to read. 

    Sarah McBride's memoir is both accessible and powerful. She shares her own story but she is ever pointing out her privilege and centering the experiences of the transgender community. She lets us in to her life, while also providing a bird's eye view of the larger issues. The result is truly masterful. I particularly appreciated the way she po

    Tomorrow Will Be Different may be the most important book I'll have read this year. This is the one I'll be pushing—er, gently encouraging—people to read. 

    Sarah McBride's memoir is both accessible and powerful. She shares her own story but she is ever pointing out her privilege and centering the experiences of the transgender community. She lets us in to her life, while also providing a bird's eye view of the larger issues. The result is truly masterful. I particularly appreciated the way she pointed out the inequity and discrimination transgender people often face in the health care system and  funeral services.

    I was greatly moved as Sarah shared about her journey in accepting and then embracing her identity as a transgender woman. This is such a personal experience. That she was able to share it as openly as she did is an incredible gift.

    Because of Sarah's activism, we get to see everything that went on behind the scenes leading up to the Delaware Senate  and House passing the Gender Identity Nondiscrimination Act of 2013. So much goes into passing any bill and it was fascinating to see how hard Sarah and her coworkers at Human Rights Campaign worked, as well as hear all the personal accounts. It was also disheartening to see the pushback and outright attacks they faced. But then justice prevailed and I was celebrating right alongside Sarah! There's more work to be done but I am confident every state will follow suit and protect the rights of all transgender people.

    "Names are important. Not just in the transgender community but everywhere. It's the first thing a parent gives to a baby. It's how our society bestows personhood, recognizes individuality, and affirms humanity in each one of us. That's why one of the first steps in marginalizing someone is to remove their name. It communicates that you are unimportant and unseen." p. 53 

    Sarah made so many important points about identity and gender, the ways we show people we see and love them and the ways we marginalize and ignore them. We have an opportunity to come alongside the transgender community to show them how loved and valued they are and part of that is listening to stories like Sarah's and Janet Mock and Allyson Robinson and Austen Hartke and so on. 

    One of the best parts of this book was the story of how Sarah fell in love with Andy, a transgender man. They were so perfect for each other found each other and I loved that they met at a White House reception in celebration of LGBT Pride month. They eventually ended up working at HRC together in addition to dating. Unfortunately, Andy was diagnosed with cancer and died only a few days after they were married. I'm so happy they had the time together they had but it's unbearably sad that it was too short a time. 

    This was so well written and engaging. I'll continue to follow and support Sarah McBride's good work. Only time will tell where her political career will go. If you've been wanting to better understand and support the transgender community, this book is a wonderful place to start.

    Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy from Blogging For Books in exchange for an honest review.

  • Amy

    Sarah went to the same high school as my daughter. She and the group of other politically-minded friends she hung out with always struck me as remarkable. Although I didn't have the chance to get to know her well, those times I did come in contact with her, I felt she was someone to keep an eye on -- someone destined to do something great. In her last year of college and at the end of her term as student body president at AU, Sarah came out as transgender by way of a piece published in her schoo

    Sarah went to the same high school as my daughter. She and the group of other politically-minded friends she hung out with always struck me as remarkable. Although I didn't have the chance to get to know her well, those times I did come in contact with her, I felt she was someone to keep an eye on -- someone destined to do something great. In her last year of college and at the end of her term as student body president at AU, Sarah came out as transgender by way of a piece published in her school's newspaper. I learned about this via Facebook, read the piece via a post there, quickly friended her and have let her know, many times over the years, how inspirational I find her. In this every-increasingly polarized world, spot-lighted by having a social media presence, it can be difficult to be truly oneself. Sarah not only did that, but did it with such honesty and pride, she has become a role-model to young and old, whether cis, straight, or LGBTQ. Along her journey, Sarah has remained active in politics, made some important alliances, and now works tirelessly for trans-rights. Here, in her home state of Delaware, Sarah advocated for and helped pass the Gender Identity Nondiscrimination Act (SB 97) in 2015.

    In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah speaks about realizing she was transgender as a child, her involvement in local politics, and her coming out. She chronicles her relationship with Andy, the husband she lost too soon to cancer and how he still inspires her today as she continues to advocate and fight for other transgender people.

    I bought this book in Kindle format and chose to listen to Sarah read it. Her voice is intelligent and steadfast. It is also passionate and full of emotion. I bought a second, hard copy of her book and took it to the Delaware Historical Society at her recent speaking engagement to have her sign it. Listening to her, I was once again struck by the feeling that Sarah is destined for great things. In her book, she quotes a young transgender girl she met with who told Sarah her goal was to become the first transgender President of the United States. Years ago, when Sarah was still attending high school, I remember thinking, "I may one day get to vote for this kid for President". I haven't shelved that idea. Perhaps Sarah will be the first transgender POTUS and the young lady she quoted in her book will have to be the second!

    No matter what path Sarah chooses, I expect great things from her!

  • Jessica

    A powerful memoir. Just what I was hoping for. I feel I have a better understanding about some of the complexities and nuances of being transgender in America today.

    Side rant: I wanted to scream at the way Andy and Sarah were treated by the medical community in some of the conversations Sarah described. It’s just not how it should be done! And, I know oncology socials AT Hopkins who have better conversations with patients than the ones they experienced. Sigh.

  • Katya Kazbek

    My one wish right now is that Sarah McBride stays healthy, both physically and mentally, so she can one day become the president of the United States. This is a wish packed with hope: I want to live in the US that can have a woman president, a transgender president, and a young president. Hey, even a progressive president right now seems like a stretch :( Anyway, I also selfishly want Sarah to be happy, because that means that we as a society will benefit from her light, so strong and brave. I a

    My one wish right now is that Sarah McBride stays healthy, both physically and mentally, so she can one day become the president of the United States. This is a wish packed with hope: I want to live in the US that can have a woman president, a transgender president, and a young president. Hey, even a progressive president right now seems like a stretch :( Anyway, I also selfishly want Sarah to be happy, because that means that we as a society will benefit from her light, so strong and brave. I am in absolute awe of the power that this sweet young woman exudes, and the calm, measured way in which she approaches things. Wise, self-aware, loving, incredibly smart and so resilient: a natural born leader, a beacon for change.

    I am queer person who mostly presents as a woman, originally from Russia, now trying to stay in the US. I came here because Russia is terrible for queer people: but that was during Obama. Now, that Trump is in power, being queer, an immigrant, or a woman-presenting person is still better than doing the same in Russia, but not by far. And it's easy to lose hope. But knowing that there are people like Sarah in this world, or her beloved Andy, or all the other folk who are pushing for dignity and equality for everyone on the LGBTQ spectrum, makes me hopeful. I know that this is a country where I can and will belong.

    As I read the book, sometimes sobbing, sometimes smiling warmly, sometimes a little lost in the bureacracy of legislative processes, one thing remained unchanged: I wanted to hug Sarah. I am often cautious about people in politics, and know too well the challenges of activism that sometimes strip a person of humanity in unexpected places. But Sarah gives the air of wholeness. She is still an idealistic doe-eyed kid who wants to be president and makes a DNC diorama, but also an incredibly smart adult who understands how things in politics work. And I think that this balance of the two is exactly what makes her such a promising figure. I really hope that life works out in a way where Sarah's political career progresses further, and that one day I might—who knows?—vote or just campaign for her.

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  • Kathy

    I received a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

    Two to three stars.

    McBride's memoir of coming out as a trans woman and losing her husband is difficult to review as it reads like a few different books. Some chapters read as non-fiction and include many statistics and facts about the trans population in the U.S. as a whole, other chapters are detailed accounts of McBride's efforts to change Delaware legislation, and others are a personal account of her experiences with coming out and mee

    I received a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

    Two to three stars.

    McBride's memoir of coming out as a trans woman and losing her husband is difficult to review as it reads like a few different books. Some chapters read as non-fiction and include many statistics and facts about the trans population in the U.S. as a whole, other chapters are detailed accounts of McBride's efforts to change Delaware legislation, and others are a personal account of her experiences with coming out and meeting her husband (who was a trans activist and lawyer). Often, the subjects bleed into one another with no page breaks and it is jarring to follow her stream of consciousness from a personal experience to a statistic to a state law, etc. It sometimes feels disorganized rambling, as though McBride couldn't decide whether she wanted to write an educational tome or a personal narrative.

    I skimmed several (long) sections of the book that go into elaborate detail on Delaware legislation and politics - while inherent in McBride's personal experience, the level of detail is not relevant to the average reader. There are several chapters that could have been edited down to paragraphs and still conveyed her struggles and victories. I would have preferred to read more personal accounts from McBride's childhood rather than reading such an elaborate and detailed account of every conversation, meeting, and setback that occurred during her admirable efforts to achieve equality in her home state. That said, the middle of the book where she shares her experiences of falling in love and losing her husband are sad but captivating. Her writing style remains a bit formal and spare, but the emotion behind it is more engaging.

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