The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together

The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together

From a leading clinical psychologist who has counseled couples and individuals for decades, a wise, radical, and optimistic approach to marriage that promises compatibility between an individual’s development and the often relentless demands of a relationship.People today are trying to make their marriages work over longer lives than ever before—for their children’s health...

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Title:The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together
Author:Daphne de Marneffe
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Edition Language:English

The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together Reviews

  • Hoss

    Thoughtful, insightful and deeply moving. Ms de Marneffe is a keen observer of “the rough patch” and what makes marriage work.

  • Lilatovinl

    This was one of the most insightful relationship books I’ve ever read. At times I felt as if the author had been in the same room when me and my husband were arguing. She provides a refreshing outlook on marriage and I highly recommend to anyone going through a “rough patch”.

  • Sarah SL

    Excellent practical advice for middle age.

  • Cristine Mermaid

    To be fair, this is an ARC so it hasn't completely been edited yet so a couple of the issues I have with it may not be relevant by the time it is actually released.

    I started reading this on break and it resonated. I am their demographic. I related to so much of it and it was incredibly reassuring to learn that my feelings/thoughts/experiences are quite typical and normal.

    I highlighted this book like mad because so many thoughts I have that worry me and that I thought were exclusive to me are pe

    To be fair, this is an ARC so it hasn't completely been edited yet so a couple of the issues I have with it may not be relevant by the time it is actually released.

    I started reading this on break and it resonated. I am their demographic. I related to so much of it and it was incredibly reassuring to learn that my feelings/thoughts/experiences are quite typical and normal.

    I highlighted this book like mad because so many thoughts I have that worry me and that I thought were exclusive to me are perfectly normal considering circumstances and that alone made the book worth reading.

    The only reason I didn't give it 5 is because the author made a few comments that seemed to be a bit dismissive of stay at home parents, as though we have it easy somehow. Later she was very much in support of how hard it is and that it's a sacrifice for many but those first comments turned me off.

    Also, there are a few ideas and suggestions but there is no "well this is how you fix it" section so that stopped this from being 5 stores for me.

  • Susan Underbrink

    A big thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. I am voluntarily reviewing this book. Not sure I got this as I am now separated . Maybe to see how I can avoid making the same mistakes. I found it interesting, but not with many tips. It reconfirmed that what I was feeling wasn't unusual. I may have missed it but I didn't see much on divorce with older children. Overall I found it helpful.

  • Wendy

    Trying to make a marriage work in this day and age is difficult with all the outside influences that so easily can rip apart the love and harmony that was initially experienced. “The Rough Patch” which I won through Goodreads Giveaways explores the problems that develop as a marriage progresses and unhappiness emerges when one or both marital partners feel lonely, confused, going through the motions, stuck in a rut or so distraught that they think they’re falling part. Wanting to surrender, esca

    Trying to make a marriage work in this day and age is difficult with all the outside influences that so easily can rip apart the love and harmony that was initially experienced. “The Rough Patch” which I won through Goodreads Giveaways explores the problems that develop as a marriage progresses and unhappiness emerges when one or both marital partners feel lonely, confused, going through the motions, stuck in a rut or so distraught that they think they’re falling part. Wanting to surrender, escape and start over, often one or both look for encouragement, support and love outside their marriage bed or seek a divorce.

    Clearly and concisely clinical psychologist Daphne de Maneffe blends her research and clinical experience to explain the “workings of love” and the “structures of relationships” enabling each of us to examine our own marriage and to identify any health issues.

    Divided into chapters it begins with a brief history of midlife crisis and continues with insight into difficulties that erupt when troubles with money, an addiction, a dalliance, the empty nest syndrome and even aging impinge. With understanding and humor coupled with knowledge from interviews with individuals and couples, De Marneffe gives a sense of hope in her explanations, confident that with help each one of us can find the answer we need to move forward and have the happy marriage everyone longs for.

    Having gone through midlife crisis and experienced several similar difficulties I found “The Rough Patch” was very perceptive especially in the area of children's welfare. This is a good book to read for anyone entering into a relationship that they want to last.

  • Pam Cipkowski

    Full disclosure: I am neither married at the time, nor living together with anyone. Yet I still found this a helpful and informative read with regards to relationships. When cultivating a relationship, it helps to focus on three questions: Who do I want to be as an individual? Who do I want to be as a partner? And how do the two fit together? The book is filled with various scenarios and case studies of dilemmas and “rough patches” often encountered in midlife relationships, including substance

    Full disclosure: I am neither married at the time, nor living together with anyone. Yet I still found this a helpful and informative read with regards to relationships. When cultivating a relationship, it helps to focus on three questions: Who do I want to be as an individual? Who do I want to be as a partner? And how do the two fit together? The book is filled with various scenarios and case studies of dilemmas and “rough patches” often encountered in midlife relationships, including substance abuse, money, infidelity, and the process of aging. It’s all very clinical, and while there’s a lot of it I can’t quite relate to, it’s also very interesting, with little bits and pieces to learn from. It’s hard to know when to keep trying, and when to leave. But it’s imperative to start off by remembering, “We have the right to expect love, and the responsibility to give love.…Don’t let that die. Once it dies, once you close your heart, it’s really, really hard to open it back up.”

  • Nicole Heckel

    there were some really good messages in here but it just didn't feel as comprehensive as I would have liked. there was a lot of focus on children, which can't be generalized to a lot of couples, and the majority of the examples didn't feel even remotely true which made that hard to generalize as well. However, the bits that I found valuable were REALLY good, so I kind of forgave it

  • Susan

    I thought that this would be an interesting non-fiction. The content can be helpful for any relationship, but I just found the info un-relateable.

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